When It Seems That Your “Good” Just Isn’t “Good Enough”

We all have  goals and aspirations in life . It seems that life as a college student has put a lot of perspective on the goals that I have. Goals that I had in high school have evolved and I have started to realistically figure out what I want in life. Now trust me, I definitely do NOT have my life figured out in any way. I just have small and large goals that I am taking on one step at a time. Some goals change, and some goals stay the same as I grow and learn.

When I set my eye on something I want, I go after it. If I really want it, then I make sure that I put all of my effort into making sure I can obtain my goal. When I have a goal, I really set my heart into it. When you put that much effort into something, you really expect to get what you worked so hard for. I always try my very best, but it seems that sometimes my “good” just isn’t “good enough.”

When you have the mindset that your “good” just isn’t “good enough,” you can get into a really dark place. It is so hard to hear the word “no” when you so desperately want to hear that “yes.” I’m going to be brutally honest. When I don’t seem to reach my goal or get what I want, I automatically label myself as a failure. My self-worth goes right down the toilet. I just want to give up and forget about all of the hard work that I put into it. The hard work seems pointless. It makes me feel like I am worthless and insignificant. I tell myself that I will never be “good enough.” It makes me want to turn off all of the lights and forget about my problems.

We have to stop thinking that we are not “good enough.” 

What does “good enough” even mean?

According to thesaurus.com, some synonyms for “good enough” are: able, qualified, deserving, worthy, desirable and well-suited.

We are deciding that our worth is based off of the opportunities that we get…or do not get. Let me tell you something…your worth comes from God. Did you get that? Your worth comes from God. Not from the job you did or didn’t get. Not from the organization you applied for. Not from your success. Not from your failures. Your worth comes solely from God.

You are worthy because the God of the universe made you and He loves you.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139: 13-14

How do you feel when you fail? You feel like that person just criticized everything about you and it doesn’t make you feel good. So, how do you think God feels when you criticize his masterpiece: YOU?

When you criticize yourself by saying you aren’t “good enough,” you are criticizing God’s handiwork. God delicately made you just the way that you are and He loves every single inch of you. You have to look at yourself through God’s eyes.

Trust me, you are going to get rejected a whole lot. You will get rejected from jobs, organizations, and even people. Instead of focusing on the negatives, we have to focus on the positives. 

It’s easy to focus on being upset and angry that we didn’t get what we want. Instead, we should try harder to focus on the good things that come out of it and have a positive attitude:

  • Usually, when we don’t get what we want it just means that something better is right around the corner.
  • It means that God needs us for something else in that moment.
  • Rejection is a great opportunity to learn something from the situation.
  • It might be God’s plan to add something to your testimony to help others.

If you go into a situation remembering that your worth is not based on their opinion of you then you will be happy with the outcome as long as you know you did your best. Yes, it’s okay to be sad and maybe a little frustrated if something doesn’t work out, but you have to move on and then look to the bigger and better things that are right around the corner.

 

 

“As Wonderful As Romance Is, It Isn’t The Only Love That Exists.”

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Romance. What does that look like to you? Usually when I hear the word romance I think of the  romantic movies that everyone watches like The Notebook and basically any other Nicholas Sparks book.

In this society, everyone seems to purely associate love with romance. Love is singly portrayed as a man who plans the perfect date for the girl he is in love with. This makes the world believe that love is only described as some big romantic gesture.

When little girls and boys associate romance with love, then all they are going to strive to do is to get a romantic partner so they can feel what “love” is really like.

Trust me, I used to think that I was unworthy and not lovable just  because I did not have a boyfriend. I thought that being single meant that “nobody” loved me. Oh was I wrong. How can I feel unloved when I have family, friends, and a God who love me more than anything in the world?

I have a secret for you…romantic gestures are NOT the only form of love.

Love is a mother seeing her newborn baby for the first time.

Love is a father taking his son to his first football game.

Love is a boy getting his first dog.

Love is a little girl dressing up as her mommy.

Love is two best friends laughing till their stomachs hurt.

Love is a God who sent his son to die on the cross for our sins.

Every single type of love out there IS IMPORTANT. Love is so much more than someone making a grand romantic gesture. Yes, romantic gestures are a great way to show your love for someone, but you do not need a relationship to feel love.

So many young men and women all around the world sit alone at night and wish with all their heart to find their “soulmate” so that they can feel that feeling of love. They do not realize that there is so much love all around them that will make them just as happy, maybe even happier, than just the love of a significant other.

Just because you do not have a boyfriend or girlfriend does not mean you are  unlovable or unworthy. Your worth does not come from the love you get from your significant other. You have worth because the creator of the universe loves you and made you. There is no love as mighty and as fierce as that never-ending love from your heavenly father.

I am not saying that you should not want to find your perfect match and fall in love. I am saying that you should not focus on being alone when you have so much love in your life. Be excited about the love you have for your friends. Be excited about the love you have for your family. Be excited about the love you have for God. Be excited about the love you have for life around you.

So I just want to assure you, even if you are single you are SO loved. You do not need to only focus on finding a significant other to feel loved when you are loved by others.

 

“Can I tell you a secret? You don’t have to be in a relationship.

I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone.

But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever – and yet the friendship is the one people ignore.

I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets – they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing – not even a date – out of you?

It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning.

The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.

Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.”